Here is the story of a fair maiden's woes and a Royal Guard who was ticket happy. So the other day, I got a speeding ticket. Yes... I was going way to fast in a 25 mph zone. But listen up! It was not totally my fault! I know everyone must say that, but it is true! You want to hear the story... well hear it goes.
Once upon a time, there was a fair maiden. She had long brunette hair, blue eyes and a gorgeous smile. But what was really special about this maiden was her ability to get herself into trouble. Oh yes... this maiden was very special. She never meant to get into trouble... trouble would just find her.
Well, this young maiden had a very important event to attend, and she was already running late! She slipped into her finest ball gown, put on her glass flip flops and rushed out the door. Of course she had the young princess of Lewis-ville with her... so that took five minutes getting her into the carriage.
After all the commotion, they were finally on their way! The royal musicians were playing her favorite song, and the road was clear... but then something happened! While driving the carriage, the fair maiden's foot got caught under the pedal! She could not get it out... she panicked. Instead of pressing on the break she accidentally pressed on the gas! The carriage went flying!
Down the 400 South hill she went! 100 mph! As she was slowing down, she saw a flicker of light in the corner of her eye. It was one of the Royal Guard... chasing her down! Being the good citizen she was, she pulled the carriage over, and pulled the curtain to the side.
The Royal Guard strolled up to the side of the carriage, slyly placed his arm on the window and said, "Fair maiden, does thee know how fast thee was traveling?" Knowing, the maiden said, "Yes sir, I am sorry... but my foot..." but he stopped her from finishing. He asked for her papers and went back to his horse.
All the while, the maiden pleaded with the Gods above that they would save her from the worst. But alas, this is not the story of a fair maiden who didn't find trouble...
The Royal Guard returned with a slip of paper in his hand. Yes, she received a ticket. Now, as the story goes... she has to go to traffic school and pay 150 gold coins to fix her mistake.
The moral of the story, don't wear glass flip flops while driving on a Guard crazy street.
The End
Okay, in all honesty... the cop was a jerk. He was not even in his car when I passed by. He had pulled over someone else and was walking back to his car when he saw me. So not only did he not have any idea how fast I was going, but he lied to me telling me I was going 43. NOT! I was going 32 max! The best part he was super nice! If your going to be a putz, then be a putz! Erg... anyways I guess it could be worse... he could have found my heroine, booze and that dead body in my trunk.
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