I am withering away... Today is depressing. I need a cookie so bad it is not even funny. We have some, just up in the cupboard... with in reach. Maybe if I pretend to eat it craving will subside?
...
Nope.
Not enough brain power I suppose. I have eaten my fruit, and have had a Stevia Horchata (recipe on Creative Kitchens 3) but alas... my sweet, scrumptious, delectable chocolate chip cookie is calling my name. I want to chew the ambrosia of chocolate chunks baked into flour, butter, and brown sugar. Oh... maybe just one? No, I can't! Stay strong!
Have you read the book, "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie."? Well, that will be me... but instead of the activities the mouse pursues, I will keep eating more and more cookies! And the entire cookie jar will have magically disappeared into nothingness. That story is, "If you Give Fat Megan A Cookie!". You think I would have learned! Because I really can eat about 2-3 cookies a day! But this is why I am pleasantly plump.
It is true! If I allowed myself one cookie a day in the past, I would not be this sour situation of eating NO cookies at all! Which is better? No cookies or one cookie? The one cookie version, obviously! Let me tell you though, nothing beats a cold glass of milk than a warm, homemade, soft and chewy chocolate chip cookie.
Funny story, my brother Spencer would randomly wake up in the middle of the night and go to the cookie jar. He would take 15 cookies from that jar and walk back to his room. Then proceed to lay on his bed, placing the cookies on his chest, and commence his ritual of late night cookie munching! Now to some, this may not seem like a lot of cookies... but rest assured these cookies were always monstrous! They were my mom's warm, homemade, soft and chewy chocolate chip cookies.
Yes the ones I am craving! Good grief!!! Do I have to endure eternal pain and suffering? Take these exquisite craving away from me! I am being tormented with fire and brimstone. Beaten down my Hades himself. Lashings every hour, pushing a boulder uphill, trying to quench an unquenchable thirst... I WANT A DAMN COOKIE....
*sigh*
I am utterly astonished I just wrote an entire blog about cookies.
Dang, now after reading this I want a cookie.Crap...
ReplyDeleteStep 1. Go get bag of cookies
ReplyDeleteStep 2. Go get a hammer
Step 3. Go get a broom
Step 4. Go outside
Step 5. Smash bag of cookies with hammer.
Step 6. (optional) Call destroyed bag of cookies names and spit on it if you feel so inclined.
This was posted by Mike but I couldnt sign in because I am at work. :(
Thanks Mike! That is a great idea! But you never what the broom was for!
ReplyDeletePlus your scenario made me think of that scene on Office Space when they destroy the printer! HA!